A father's Gift

There was no way we could let our blogs just sit and rot, while we blamed everyone but ourselves for not writing. Deciding to put an end to the hiatus on writing, me and Ishithaa have decided to write on every day of November on alternate days. Today if the post is on my page, tomorrow it will be on hers.....   


I was bought up in a home where my parents were always "equals". There was no question of one leading the other - it was always a mutual give and take.

Yes, they have had their fights. Yes, they have raised their voices against each other! But the very idea of my mom giving up an argument just to soothe my dad's "Masculinity" is a thought that would make me fall on the ground and laugh! Maybe his "Masculinity" didn't wane away because he lost a argument with his wife.....

There was no task that was too "menial" for my dad - from helping out in the kitchen to polishing our shoes and even making our beds (oh we were a pampered lot!) to helping us with our homework - nothing was too big a task for his "Masculine" ego!

My mother was a working woman who has had an odd brush with "sexual harassment" at her workplace. We were teenage girls who have had a few "unpleasant incidents" traveling by public transport. Oh yes! we have also had our share of "Uncouth Boyfriends" (Well it’s a different matter that our father didn't think any man is good enough for his daughters). Every time, it seemed a very natural thing to discuss it out at home. No! I didn't see my dad flying into a rage - instead every time he would go and have a straight talk with the "offending party". And surprise! surprise! It seemed to work just fine! Maybe his "Masculinity" was more than about "boiling blood".....

We come from a family that's always been more on the "orthodox" side. But today when I am "old enough" to see the world - I realize we have had among our family-friends whom the "moral police" would term as "unsocial elements" - from unwed mothers to couples in "Live-in" relationships (remember that I am talking about a conservative Indian society two decades ago); but they were accepted without a blink of the eye. Maybe its that which has made us less judgmental today - maybe he was "masculine" enough to trust his family and not worry about "Unsavory influences"!

Maybe he was "Masculine" enough to realize that his "Masculinity" was beyond all this. And that truly is the best gift he has left behind for his daughters... When you have seen a gem of a role model in your dad, it gets very difficult to respect a man whose "Masculinity" is ruffled at the slightest of the pretext! May all men soon grow to be "Man enough" to accept strong Ladies.....

This post was influenced by yesterday's "SatyaMeva Jayate" episode on "Expression Of Masculinity"

10 comments:

  1. I wish I could go and shove this post right at the faces of some men I know. They think moustache and an ego that gets hurt at the drop of a hat, makes a man. But then, I do not deny the existence of the other lot too, the kind that we wish were more in number.

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  2. I think more men need to see this and some women too who can't see beyond their sons .... I hope something positive comes out of this after all TV is a big medium

    Random Thoughts Naba..Dear Central Incisors

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  3. I applaud you for writing this awesome post. I hope men and women start realizing that this world belongs to both. And masculinity has nothing to do with opressing women.

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  4. This was a lovely tribute. The world belongs to everyone. ♥

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  5. So well written Meena!! I do hope men more mean realize the true meaning of 'masculinity'!!

    P.S. so good to see you blogging regularly... I have to catch up on both yours and Bhavya's posts! Fab idea! :)

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  6. Great post! It takes a man to treat a woman as an equal. A partner. While my mum didn't work, dad still showed a lot of equality in their relationship. Mum managed all the finances, dad helped with the cleaning and ironing. I think it's great you had such good role models! :)

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  7. You have a wonderful dad Meena and you're right having role models like him makes us less judgmental and more ready to accept the choices other people around us make. If only there were more of such people around!

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  8. This is a good idea of sharing the writing and blogging together.
    loved this post. Your father is a wise men. We need more like him.

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  9. You are lucky to have such a father as a role model Meena. I think it is courageous and manly - man enough - of him to treat his family with such respect and openness. How wonderful to hear: thanks for sharing! <3 If only all men were this way.... ;)

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  10. hi Meena, how are you, where are you ???

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